How Cool

I'm Old Greeeeeeeggggggg

Where Do African Kids Get Their Heads Shaved?

Long time, no blog. The reason being that not much has happened. It's been fun meeting up with everyone who's come home from uni again though.

Went to the quiz last night. We didn't win of course but we came a respectable 4th(ish) so quite happy with that really. Went to the Trafford Center tonight. Busy.As.Fuck. Good though. Awkward moment in Selfridges. Went in with Paddy to buy a drink. Walk past a load of black Santa Clause biscuits and the following happening:

Me: *pointing at biscuits* "Since when is Santa Clause fucking black?!"
Paddy: "Duuuuuuuuuude! *points at black man behind the counter now looking at me*
Me: Shit!
Paddy: Still getting a drink?
Me: *already walking out quickly* nope...

See ya.

Scrubs - Series 6 - Episode 3

FireFox Start Up Tip

Robbed from here.

Basically, you can set FireFox up so that it opens multiple tabs when you start it up.

Go tools, options and under the main tab in the home page box, type the URL's of the pages you want, but seperated by a '|'. eg. http://www.google.co.uk|http://www.bbc.co.uk

Quite useful.

Scrubs - Series 06 - Episode 02

Scrubs - Series 06 - Episode 01

Unfortunately DailyMotion have removed this but I'll try and get a new one uploaded.

Just A Quick Picture...

...too confirm mine and Paddy's theory about not being able to see a black person in a darkish place unless they smile.

Damn The Immigrants

A risque title, I know, but that's how I feel right now. Actually, I feel I should be a bit more specific here; damn the immigrants who can't speak in English that I can understand. That should narrow it down to about...well, most of them.

My qualm is that I can't follow what they say, both because it's too pigeon-like and because it's spoken to quick. These people make so much extra money off me because I don't have a clue what they're offering!

Take today in Burger King for example. I ask for the Angus burger (very, very nice by the way), Mr Cashier from some distant land speaks something in what may as well have been Morse code and I end up spending a quid more on bacon and cheese which I didn't particularly want. The problem is, if I ask them to repeat it they don't speak any slower, they just get annoyed quicker. And I don't want to risk saying 'no' in case he said something like, 'Would you like me to spare your life?'. So I have to say 'yes'. One day it's going to backfire, I just know it. Taxi drivers are the worst though. I have to guess which one of the sentences he says is 'Where would you like to go?'. Chances are I've responded to statements like 'I've had to sell 19 of my children' or 'My dog ate one of my many wives' with 'Whitendale hall please mate'. They then probably don't think I give a fuck. Which is true, actually.

Came back from London about 4 hours ago. Trains fucked up again so I was delayed. Not happy. But it was well worth it to see Dot for the weekend so all is good in that respect. It's also nearly Christmas! *woos and yays*.

Anyway, I'm a bit too tired to continue writing so I'll leave you with two pictures.

Here we see London's effective advertising methods.

And this be the giant toilet that appeared in Harrington building one day.

Karaoke

It's catnip for drunk people. Look at her go.


Websters defines it as:

Karaoke

Noun

1. Singing popular songs accompanied by a recording of an orchestra (usually in bars or nightclubs).

I define it as:

Karaoke

Noun

1. A form of torture outlawed in the American constitution by the line forbidding 'cruel and unusual punishment'
2. An advantage to being deaf

See also: Suicide

But really, what is the point in it? All it does is anger anybody in the vicinity who is actually capable of walking, communicating or generally making sense. And those who can't walk, communicate or talk in a sensical fashion are usually the ones who end up singing. If I'm out, I don't want to hear some cloth-eared bint screeching along with Shania Twain three verses out of time.

What would make it more interesting however is if you could shoot at them and they have to dodge whilst singing. It would be like them duck hunt games at the fair but you actually have a reason for shooting. Fantastic.

I've been attacked

Oh yes, I have. And in the middle of the night as well. But it wasn't by a person or animal. Oh no, it was by this devious fiend:

Yeah, basically I got hit on the head by a bottle of shampoo whilst dozily trying to get my watch off the shelf. It bloody hurt though I tell thee.

Went to see Casino Royale last night and I must say, it was very good. Admittedly, I've not seen the original so I can't compare, but still, rather enthralling. Daniel Craig definitely makes a good Bond and I hope he's in the next ones. Not enough gadgets though.

And what am I doing now? Having a Magners of course.

Quite possibly one of the best drinks in the world. I really should be doing some work (especially my assignment) but I fancy a relax. Our group surprisingly came fourth in the project week competition. Apparently we won pride, but I'd have preferred money. Should be going to London as well this time next week to see my wonderful Dot :)

Anyway, yes, until next time.